Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I was the real Stig...

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.