I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.