My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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I think about other women when having sex

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.