I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Smoking in the shower.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.