When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.