When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.