I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Smoking in the shower.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.