sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Poo really loud

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.