When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.