Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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I read the down voted posts

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.