If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Poo really loud

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I gotta get down of Friday

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.