Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Poo really loud

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

I gotta get down of Friday

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.