Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Poo really loud

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I gotta get down of Friday

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.