When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.