When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Smoking in the shower.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.