Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.