Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.