I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.