When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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I hit the frig after sex

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.