fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -33

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -39

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

thumb_up thumb_down -41

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I rehearse arguments in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.