When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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fap

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.