masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

I wonder if elections are rigged?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.