get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.