I scratch and sniff.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.