expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Sitting down in the shower

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.