Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.