- Things You Think Only You Do

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.