Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I scratch and sniff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -10

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I wonder if elections are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.