When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

I hit the frig after sex

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.