(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Make up a song to yourself.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.