Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -108

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +59

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.