masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.