I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.