when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.