When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.