expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.