thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.