right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

pull out a flies wings and let it go

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

thumb_up thumb_down -9

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -13

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.