If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.