when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -43

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

thumb_up thumb_down -63

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.