Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.