Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -49

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I hold my breath in elevators

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.