i masturbate with my feet

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.