Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Be a loner at school

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.