I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.