- Things You Think Only You Do

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

I was the real Stig...

The older I get the more honest I get

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.