Use my phone to see what time it is

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.