When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I **** with no hands.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.