Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Courtesy flush.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.