Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.