Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.