when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I was the real Stig...

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The older I get the more honest I get

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.