Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Only use the left earphone.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

Being fat

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.