That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.