If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.