Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Courtesy flush.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Sitting down in the shower

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.