turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.