I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.