When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

thumb_up thumb_down -23

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I hold my breath in elevators

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.