Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Courtesy flush.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Sitting down in the shower

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.