- Things You Think Only You Do

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.