- Things You Think Only You Do

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Smoking in the shower.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.