Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I **** with no hands.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.