When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Sitting down in the shower

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Being fat

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.