- Things You Think Only You Do

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

I don't read the terms of service.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.