When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Being fat

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.