laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.