When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Sitting down in the shower

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

Being fat

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.