When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Being fat

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.