Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.