When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I scratch and sniff.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.