I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Be a loner at school

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.