Justin Beiber is a woman

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Smoking in the shower.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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listen to madonnas new album

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Being fat

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.