Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I **** with no hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.