Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I was the real Stig...

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.