- Things You Think Only You Do

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

only read the short jokes on this website

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.