Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

I wonder if elections are rigged?

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

fap

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Sitting down in the shower

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.