everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Picking my nose.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

I have a phobia of incest

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.