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Pointless Inventions
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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.
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+34
While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.
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+28
masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"
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+28
When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.
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+24
Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.
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+20
Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.
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+16
I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.
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+2
always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them
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+2
I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)
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+2
I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.
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+2
Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.
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-16
I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.
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-18
I wonder if elections are rigged?
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-22
when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open
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-24
While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.
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-32
When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk
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-34
Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now
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-34
turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again
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-36
When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.
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-38
only read the short jokes on this website
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-40
after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too
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-42
fap
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-52
Flush the toilet before you finish peeing
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-54
I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\
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-60
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.