Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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fap

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Sitting down in the shower

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.