Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.