Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.