carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Picking my nose.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have a phobia of incest

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.