Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.