in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.