cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.