Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

Sleep with pillow between legs

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

only read the short jokes on this website

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.