Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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fap

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.