When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.