hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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Forgets something then walks into the room to get it then forgets what you forgot nikki

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.