I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Your mom

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.