When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Sometimes I toot.

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.