Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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misread dig bick

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.