When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Courtesy flush.

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On true/false sections of tests, I get paranoid if there are not the same amount of trues and falses.

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Boinked my neighbor

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.