incognito mode on google chrome

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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Pee in the shower.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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k. everyone

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.