I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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humiliating little girls

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.