Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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When I'm in a car holding a handheld device (iPod, Cell Phone, etc.) I have a feeling I will randomly throw it out the open window. I would never do this, but I'm still afraid I might.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.