before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.