I constantly talk to myself.

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I read the down voted posts

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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When i take off my watch before i go to sleep i smell my wrist.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.