Brake for tail-gaters

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Vote for the other guy

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

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??2????????????????????

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.