wipe your hands on your pants

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.