Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.