Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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sit in the shower

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.