I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I chew my ice cream.

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smoke marijuana

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I always cry when I pray.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.