think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I constantly talk to myself.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

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suck my own penis

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.