Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

I really like taking shits.

Boinked my neighbor

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.