I used to eat bath bubbles

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.