run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.