I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Thinking your life is a movie...

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

I constantly talk to myself.

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

im going to rape that girl

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I hold my breath in elevators

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.