I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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jack off

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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look at bins as i walk past them

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Hate Skydoesminecraft.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.