Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.