When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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R A P E Children

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.