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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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look at bins as i walk past them

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.