When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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Try and accomplish something before the timer on the microwave beeps :)

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I think about life problems in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.