Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When i'm in a classroom I think about all of the possible ways to save everyone if something bad happens.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.