Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.