I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

Get that shiver when you're peeing.

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

wear warm clothes on hot days -jesse

Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

Ur mum

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.