- Things You Think Only You Do

dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

sometimes, i smell my own farts.

Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.