Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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only read the short jokes on this website

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.