I want to suck on your penis

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

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Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.