Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

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I really like taking shits.

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Boinked my neighbor

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.