When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Breathe.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.