get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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Breathe.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

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Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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jack off

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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smoke marijuana

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.