Sometimes I wonder if every thing is real or just fantasy and I get really scared,creeped,depressed,and Anxious

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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I make all the faces on my money face the same way.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.