When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I cant ride a bike

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.