when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Made after doomsday plans

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Reading the things people post on here and realising your not as weird as you thought.

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.