When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +182

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down +346

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

thumb_up thumb_down -93

1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

thumb_up thumb_down +198

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

thumb_up thumb_down +47

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

sit in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +671

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.