Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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make south park refferences every day

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I eat ass

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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when two pictures look very similar, i go back and forth between them so it looks like they're moving

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.