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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.
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-99
I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.
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+1
Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.
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-17
I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.
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-147
Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.
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-76
Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.
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-49
Reading the things people post on here and realising your not as weird as you thought.
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+318
When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)
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+1,644
Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?
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+172
I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.
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-69
I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.
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-55
When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...
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-19
Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.
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-11
When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.
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+4
When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.
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+26
Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.
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-29
Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd
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-31
start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.
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-57
When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.
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+1,097
I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.
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-47
When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"
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-85
when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble
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-48
Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.
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-2
Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15
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-75
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.