skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Guessing how many people are listening to the same song at the same moment as you

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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Breathe.

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when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.