You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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wear warm clothes on hot days -jesse

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.