dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -41

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

thumb_up thumb_down -42

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down -22

While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

thumb_up thumb_down +67

before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

thumb_up thumb_down +166

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

While reading these posts on here, I find that I do a lot of weird things that I've never really thought about.

thumb_up thumb_down +771

Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.