When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

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I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.