dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

I sleep in my underpants every single night

While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

While reading these posts on here, I find that I do a lot of weird things that I've never really thought about.

Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.