I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Play Minecraft

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.