When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Breathe.

When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

Reading the terms of service :O....

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.