I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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I think about life problems in the shower

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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I start doing some of the weird things I wouldn't have thought of doing if I hadn't I read them on this website.

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when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.