Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

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I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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wipe your hands on your pants

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Try and accomplish something before the timer on the microwave beeps :)

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.