Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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I constantly talk to myself.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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Go outside and pee.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.