when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

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When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.