- Things You Think Only You Do

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.