only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.