When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings

Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.