imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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after ive done something, or experienced something. when i think back on the days events, i think to myself. "i think ive done that before somewere". i must have a boring existance. its always de ja vu with me.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.