Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Mayada stupid

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.