when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.