When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.