Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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I know how to type a ¿

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.