Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

the power to regenerate your appendix

Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

I wonder if elections are rigged?

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Use my phone to see what time it is

I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.