When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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misread dig bick

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.