Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.