- Things You Think Only You Do

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.