log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Play Minecraft

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Guessing how many people are listening to the same song at the same moment as you

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I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.