When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I have an irrational fear of sloths

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.