Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

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speak proper english

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.