Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.