Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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i smoke weed all day.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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whale sperm

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I hit the frig after sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.