After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.