Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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i smoke weed all day.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.