sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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I chew my ice cream.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.