Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

i smoke weed all day.

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

whale sperm

toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I hit the frig after sex

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.