On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Breathe.

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Slate the game you playing but always go back for more...ie FIFA, Cod!!!

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Sitting down in the shower

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.