I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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thumb down this post

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.