In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Pretending I'm in a phone call when I don't want someone to talk to me.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.