watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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When I'm bored I argue with myself inside my head.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.