If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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fart

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.