masturbate quietly in my room.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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KICK THE CAN

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.