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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running
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-35
pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out
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+1,578
use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower
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+360
Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.
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+75
Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day
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-63
I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.
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-48
When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming
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-52
Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.
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-14
when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed
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-25
Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.
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+7
I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model
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-42
When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.
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-44
after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half
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-60
Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.
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+2,511
If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.
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+12
When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere
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+834
Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.
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+1,029
When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.
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-10
When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.
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+1,383
I eat ass
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-56
wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on
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+76
Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.
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+217
I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''
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-41
That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking
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-37
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.