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Clarksonisms
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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.
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-4
Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.
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-14
when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.
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-23
I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot
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-44
Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read
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-33
I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.
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+1
grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand
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+46
from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!
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-83
I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.
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-119
If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely
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-79
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <
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+15
Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.
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-50
Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself
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+33
Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.
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-20
Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.
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+3
When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.
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-67
Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.
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+46
Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.
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-147
when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi
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-120
Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.
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-64
Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night
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-65
When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.
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+22
Smoking in the shower.
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-41
Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.
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-72
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.