When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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When I die during an online game I try to cram as much food and drink in my mouth as I can before I respawn. If I have no food I roll all over the bed.

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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misread dig bick

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.