Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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humiliating little girls

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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I sleep in the nude.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.