I piss in the bed every night

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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get really confused

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.