Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.