when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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when two pictures look very similar, i go back and forth between them so it looks like they're moving

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.