Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

I read the down voted posts

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

im going to kill that person and get away with it

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

masturbate quietly in my room.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

KICK THE CAN

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.