Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.