I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.