fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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I always cry when I pray.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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speak proper english

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.