pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.