Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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I hate being called "buddy".

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.