When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.