Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.