make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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If there's a mirror i look if there's people around looking at me, and if there aren't it's ok to stare at my reflection.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.