When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.