When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.