I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.