When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.