Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -99

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When I have headphones in, I wonder if my swallowing is extremely loud for everyone else too.

thumb_up thumb_down +242

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

thumb_up thumb_down +202

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I sleep in the nude.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

thumb_up thumb_down +249

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +309

I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down +462

pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Every time I switch pages on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com, I always end up reading If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there.

thumb_up thumb_down +300

When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down +256

I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

thumb_up thumb_down +265

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +353

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

thumb_up thumb_down +361

Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +820

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.