When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +241

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,389

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +821

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,808

When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.