Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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R A P E Children

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.