ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

When I'm in a car holding a handheld device (iPod, Cell Phone, etc.) I have a feeling I will randomly throw it out the open window. I would never do this, but I'm still afraid I might.

Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.