sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Pee in the shower

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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Breathe.

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.