I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Poo really loud

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.