ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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When I'm in a car holding a handheld device (iPod, Cell Phone, etc.) I have a feeling I will randomly throw it out the open window. I would never do this, but I'm still afraid I might.

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.