Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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incognito mode on google chrome

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.