Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.