no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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My parents are annoying.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.