I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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conundrum.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.