(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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k. everyone

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.