Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Take baths

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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i smoke weed all day.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.