Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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i use dental dams

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.