I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.