sing like a pro in da shower

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.