I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +161

I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -24

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

thumb_up thumb_down -22

when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

thumb_up thumb_down +75

I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

thumb_up thumb_down +114

When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

thumb_up thumb_down +422

get bored so I fist myself for money

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

thumb_up thumb_down +632

Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +289

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.