see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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sit in the shower

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I rape small children ;).

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When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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wipe your hands on your pants

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.