when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.