When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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suck my own penis

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Try to pet your cat with your foot.

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I talk excessively loud in public sometimes so people can hear my opinions. I'm just hoping someone's eavesdropping because I like the fact that they might agree with me and that they get to see a little bit of who I am. I don't even know these people.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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Get random feelings of nausea and/or dizziness for no apparent reason.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.