Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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make south park refferences every day

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.