When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

I like to eat the crust on pizzas

Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

Get that shiver when you're peeing.

While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.