When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.