When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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when i am in a long car ride i look out the window and imagine im in a sad music video

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I always cry when I pray.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.