Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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You know how there is that sound that gives you the shiver? Whenever you here it you shiver and tell that sound maker to shut up, but then can't stop thinking about that sound and find people looking at you and saying "Is it really that cold?" And then you stop thinking about the sound. P.S. I would like to say I have never relized how weird I am! This site has revealed my inner weirdness! -Astrid

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.