I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Every time I go in a bathroom I have to look behind the shower curtain.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.