I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.