Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

laziness .... its all in the mind

Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.