fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

I always cry when I pray.

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

speak proper english

from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.