Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.