Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

thumb_up thumb_down -7

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

thumb_up thumb_down -30

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -109

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -12

sit in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Think of numbers as male or female.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.