Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.