Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.