Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +43

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

thumb_up thumb_down +241

I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Say what even when u heard someone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -108

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.