really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.