- Things You Think Only You Do

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

Brake for tail-gaters

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.