Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.