I have seen a UFO

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

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I eat food when i'm bored..

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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When i'm in a classroom I think about all of the possible ways to save everyone if something bad happens.

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.