I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.