Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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When I'm in a car holding a handheld device (iPod, Cell Phone, etc.) I have a feeling I will randomly throw it out the open window. I would never do this, but I'm still afraid I might.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.