Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

thumb_up thumb_down -34

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

bounce when your tip toeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

thumb_up thumb_down +1,060

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

thumb_up thumb_down -161

I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

thumb_up thumb_down +52

i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.