I have a phobia of incest

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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whale sperm

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.