Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Smoking in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.