When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,577

When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

thumb_up thumb_down +71

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

thumb_up thumb_down -148

While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,498

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,615

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I scratch and sniff.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.