Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Try to pet your cat with your foot.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.