When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.