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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Having gay sex

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.