Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.