pull out a flies wings and let it go

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

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I scratch and sniff.

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.