When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.