Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.