When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.