pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.