When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.