always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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Pee in my work garbage can.

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Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.