think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

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I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.