Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Reading the things people post on here and realising your not as weird as you thought.

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.