I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.