When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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being super bored at school

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.