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Your mom

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.