when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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fart

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.