Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.