Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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Pee in the shower

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.