say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.