I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.