pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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whale sperm

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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I hit the frig after sex

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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hate Justin Bieber

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.