Giving my dog a massage.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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check shower for murder then pee

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.