Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -35

sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -32

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

thumb_up thumb_down -105

On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

thumb_up thumb_down -34

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.