when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Dancing while hoovering

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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Fart at home

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.