when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Has to cover up with a blanket, regardless of the temperature...

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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I never feel bored

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.