I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.