Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.