Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.