I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.