Poo really loud

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.