You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

thumb_up thumb_down +1,683

Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,418

Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +320

When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +992

Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,611

I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +494

When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Save more than once on your favourite game.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

thumb_up thumb_down -46

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Brake for tail-gaters

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whale sperm

thumb_up thumb_down -184

Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.