Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.