I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Do somthing only you do

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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I hate being called "buddy".

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Your mom

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.