Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Be a loner at school

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.