When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

thumb_up thumb_down -66

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

thumb_up thumb_down

Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

thumb_up thumb_down -25

fap

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I really like taking shits.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -137

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I lift my butt when I'm farting

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

masturbate quietly in my room.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.