Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Still record on VHS tapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

thumb_up thumb_down -31

reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I masturbate with sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -100

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I like to eat the crust on pizzas

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.