I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.