Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I read the down voted posts

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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Pee in the shower

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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i masturbate with my feet

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.