Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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I always cry when I pray.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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I push the door open with my stomach

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.