Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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Pee in the shower

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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i masturbate with my feet

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.