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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.
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-41
If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?
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-26
Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.
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-184
While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.
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+319
When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades
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-47
Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.
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-28
I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.
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-108
(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?
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-73
Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.
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-11
Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.
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-67
Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.
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+185
Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.
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-53
Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.
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-3
when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D
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-4
Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.
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+8
Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?
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-64
DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)
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-52
Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it
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-78
Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.
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-46
Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...
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-38
Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep
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-13
when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear
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-43
Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.
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-71
Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."
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-65
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.