Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Pee in the shower.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.