Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Poop naked.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -45

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

thumb_up thumb_down

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.