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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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I can see a magic eye image

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.