Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.