when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

thumb_up thumb_down +348

I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -17

??2????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +22

i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

thumb_up thumb_down +82

scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +700

I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +261

Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,457

I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.