I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Courtesy flush.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.