when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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smoke marijuana

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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misread flashlight

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.