Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.