Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.