I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Smoking in the shower.

Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

I was not born in the country I am living in now

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

chewing icecream before you swallow it

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.