Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I control water in the shower.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.