I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Smoking in the shower.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.