Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.