when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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check shower for murder then pee

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.