I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.