I gotta get down of Friday

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I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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I cant ride a bike

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.