Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

thumb_up thumb_down -24

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I masturbate with sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Picking my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.