when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -89

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

thumb_up thumb_down -70

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.