Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I think about other women when having sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.