When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I have an irrational fear of sloths

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

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When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

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when i am in a long car ride i look out the window and imagine im in a sad music video

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.