Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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suck my own penis

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Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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shag your mom

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Pee in the shower

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.