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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.