Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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check shower for murder then pee

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.