I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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check shower for murder then pee

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.