wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I control water in the shower.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I make all the faces on my money face the same way.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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sit in the shower

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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make food scream if i chop them up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.