Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.