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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.