Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

thumb_up thumb_down -21

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

thumb_up thumb_down +29

fart

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +719

Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -35

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -31

sing in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +92

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -36

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.