Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.