I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +182

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

thumb_up thumb_down +335

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -170

Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,223

Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.