Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.