Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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i use dental dams

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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hate Justin Bieber

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.