Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

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Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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i masturbate with my feet

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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sing in the shower

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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I control water in the shower.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.