Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Giving my dog a massage.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.