When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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shag your mom

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.