Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.