I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.