only read the short jokes on this website

I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.