Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

i masturbate with my feet

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

sing in the shower

When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

pull out a flies wings and let it go

Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

I control water in the shower.

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.