wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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look at bins as i walk past them

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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listen to madonnas new album

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Pee in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.