Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.