When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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wonder who wrote these things

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.