Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pour a bowl of cereal. Open fridge. No milk. (karky)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

thumb_up thumb_down -68

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -82

shag your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -87

humiliating little girls

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Eating chicken at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.