sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.