When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.