I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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wonder who wrote these things

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.