When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Type in "Things you think only you do" then feel better that alot of people do the same stupid or smart things.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.