Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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When I have headphones in, I wonder if my swallowing is extremely loud for everyone else too.

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.