When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

thumb_up thumb_down +14

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

thumb_up thumb_down -27

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

thumb_up thumb_down -59

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

thumb_up thumb_down -13

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

hate Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -104

I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.