Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.