Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.