I Masturbate Daily.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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shag your mom

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.