When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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whale sperm

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.