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Clarksonisms
LOL Flyers
Shit Brix
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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention
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+19
When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.
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-29
I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy
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-56
Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.
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-131
watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"
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-63
Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....
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-1
eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white
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-63
stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them
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-76
Play with my own boobs for no reason
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-46
Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.
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-99
When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different
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-66
When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.
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-18
Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.
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-52
I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.
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-130
Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.
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-38
Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.
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+85
I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep
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-28
When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.
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+23
When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.
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+12
blink
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-46
Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!
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-79
I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site
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-41
when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.
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-29
I can only play a piano with my right hand
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-25
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.