When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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k. everyone

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.