I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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k. everyone

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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Fart at home

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Check this site often to see if anyone liked my comment or not...

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.