Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Turn on the faucet and/or fan when using the toilet at someone else's house or at my own place when there is a visitor because I don't want them to hear me peeing.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.