Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.