Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.