I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

blink

When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

Pick giant boogers and eat them.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.