Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

I piss in the bed every night

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.