Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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listen to madonnas new album

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.