Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Talk to my cat.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Being fat

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.