I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.