Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Teacher asks class a question, so I put my head down and pretend to take notes.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I read the down voted posts

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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Pee in the shower

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.