Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Poop naked.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.