When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I Masturbate Daily.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

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I **** with no hands.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.