Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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I piss in the bed every night

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KICK THE CAN

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.