Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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I piss in the bed every night

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.