When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.