When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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hallo

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fart

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.