get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.