when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Smoking in the shower.

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hate Justin Bieber

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.