after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

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Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.