I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.