Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.