always check thde back seat before starting the car

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

thumb_up thumb_down +58

When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Tear up when I poop

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

thumb_up thumb_down -78

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.