When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -88

I was the real Stig...

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.