When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

check shower for murder then pee

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.