Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

Save more than once on your favourite game.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.