I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

Try to pet your cat with your foot.

I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.