Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.