Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -39

get bored so I fist myself for money

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

thumb_up thumb_down -42

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.