I put big spaces in between comments

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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I have seen a UFO

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.