Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.