Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.