Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.