I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.