when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I hit the frig after sex

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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????????????????????C?????????

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.