Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.