Play with my own boobs for no reason

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Try to see nipples through body paint.

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

I piss in the bed every night

flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

KICK THE CAN

When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.