Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Being fat

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I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.