whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

thumb_up thumb_down -14

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

thumb_up thumb_down -153

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

thumb_up thumb_down -7

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.