whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.