Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

thumb_up thumb_down +197

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

thumb_up thumb_down -56

fap

thumb_up thumb_down -53

When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have never watched Star Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +178

Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.