Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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I sleep in the nude.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.