When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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shag your mom

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.