Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

thumb_up thumb_down -133

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i see almost everything as a sign

thumb_up thumb_down -65

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +824

After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.