When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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Pee in the shower.

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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I never feel bored

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

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when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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I pee in the shower.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.