Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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Talk to my cat.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.