It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

When I'm at someone else's house, clutter sort of bothers me and it makes me want to clean up. At my own house, it feels really weird if there's a lack of clutter, so I like to keep it that way.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

get caught up in youtube comment arguments

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.