Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.