I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.