Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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speak proper english

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.