Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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make south park refferences every day

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when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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speak proper english

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.