do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.