Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Mayada stupid

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.