poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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make south park refferences every day

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.