I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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check shower for murder then pee

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.