I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I have an irrational fear of sloths

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.