sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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fap

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.