I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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While washing your hair in the shower, having the weird fear of opening your eyes to see something staring at you.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I like to burn candles in my room and some times I burn the hair on my arm and smell it afterwards

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.