When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Pee in the shower.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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I think about other women when having sex

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.