use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

thumb_up thumb_down -45

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

thumb_up thumb_down +27

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.