do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

Putting your bra on your dogs dead

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

masturbate quietly in my room.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.