I sleep in my underpants every single night

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i use dental dams

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Pee in the shower

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.