Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.