Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.