masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

I really like taking shits.

If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.