Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

Pee in the shower.

sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.