I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

check shower for murder then pee

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.