whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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sit in the shower

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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make food scream if i chop them up.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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check shower for murder then pee

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.