poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

make south park refferences every day

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

I can only play a piano with my right hand

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.