Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +203

Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -110

How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,413

Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Being from another country and always thinking in english.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down +1,369

Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

thumb_up thumb_down +1,206

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.