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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.
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-65
do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming
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+10
Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.
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-20
I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.
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-78
Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon
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-50
When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.
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-23
I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep
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-26
??2????????????????????
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+19
You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on
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-10
whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.
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-55
Dip my pizza crust in my soda
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+63
Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.
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-20
lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.
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+1,415
Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.
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+33
find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.
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-21
Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them
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-37
I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.
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-10
I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?
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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.
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-40
I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...
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-15
When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.
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+3
poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night
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-57
having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.
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-35
Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there
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-47
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.