check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.