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I really like taking shits.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

masturbate quietly in my room.

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

Mayada stupid

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.