sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

fap

When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

I have never watched Star Wars.

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.