masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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I really like taking shits.

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.