When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

thumb_up thumb_down +47

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

thumb_up thumb_down +56

When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

thumb_up thumb_down +803

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.