start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.