go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.