I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.