Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.