Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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I really like taking shits.

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On true/false sections of tests, I get paranoid if there are not the same amount of trues and falses.

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.