when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.