Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.