When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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Being fat

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.