I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.