Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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When eating skittles and share it with my friends, i gave them the flavors that i dont really like.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.