sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

thumb_up thumb_down +1,659

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I like to poo while smoking.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

thumb_up thumb_down -124

I cant ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I really enjoy self-pity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.