When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Whenever I'm home alone, I listen to songs from my culture like Ella Ella, Taboo, or Sexy Robotica by Don Omar or other fun dancing songs, super loud and dance crazy and sing along as loud as I can. Any one else?

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.