When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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listen to madonnas new album

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.