Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

thumb_up thumb_down -31

blow nose. look at kleenex.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Go outside and pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When I'm scared in the shower sing

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

thumb_up thumb_down +60

I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -31

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

thumb_up thumb_down -82

I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

thumb_up thumb_down -108

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.