When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.